This essay is dedicated to the Upsherenish of our dear grandson, Tzemach Asher Noam, Sheyiḥiyeh, which took place today in Houston. May he grow to Torah, Chupah, and Ma’asim Tovim (good deeds)!
Introduction
Upsherenish is the ancient Jewish custom of giving a boy his first haircut on his third birthday, celebrating his transition from being a toddler to childhood and the beginning of active Jewish education. The Yiddish word “upsherenish” literally means a “haircut.”[1] After the third birthday, a boy is taught alef-bet, trained to wear a kipa, a tallit katan (tzitzit), to recite morning blessings and the bedtime prayer of kri’at sh’ma al ha-mita (Hear O’ Israel…).
Albeit not codified in the Talmud or the standard halachic works, upsherenish is preserved through a minhag (“custom”) in various communities—predominantly Ḥassidic and Sephardic communities—and is cited in later Halachic and Ḥassidic texts. One early mention is attributed to Sefer Ḥassidim (R. Yehudah HaḤassid, 12th–13th century), which references refraining from cutting a boy’s hair before age three.
The Torah prohibits the use of fruits for the first three years of planting a tree. The fruits of the first three years are called orlah (עָרְלָה “blocked/closed off”), and the owner of the tree is prohibited from deriving any benefit from this orlah.
Biblical Sources
The Torah says:
When you come to the land and plant any kind of fruit tree, you shall regard its fruit as “orlah”; for three years it shall be orlah (“closed off”) to you, it shall not be eaten (Vayikra–Leviticus, 19:23–25).
Thus, not eating fruits of the newly planted tree for the first three years[2] is counted among the biblical commandments (Taryag Mitzvot, “613 Commandments”).[3]
The Torah further says:
For man is like the tree of the field (Devarim/Deuteronomy 20:19).
Based on this analogy, a child is seen as a “young fruit” not yet ready for “harvest.” For the first three years of the boy’s life, his hair is considered orlah and “blocked” from cutting.[4]
The foreskin of a newborn boy is also called orlah and must be removed—circumcised—establishing the sign of the Holy Covenant, Brit Milah.[5]
Orlah in Kabbalah and Ḥassidic Philosophy
On a mystical level, orlah— the produce of the first three years—embodies an unrefined spiritual state that must remain “sealed off” until it matures and can be elevated in holiness.
Just as the orlah (foreskin) on a boy is removed at brit milah (“circumcision”) to open the channel of holiness, the orlah status of fruit and boys’ hair represents a spiritual barrier or husk (kelipah) that conceals the inner holiness of the produce and hair during the first three years. Kabbalistic and Ḥassidic writings treat both “coverings” (that is, fruits and hair) as layers of spiritual impurity manifesting immature mentality, which cannot yet be refined or uplifted (in the case of fruits, through human consumption, and in the case of hair, through cutting). It is, therefore, forbidden to partake of or derive benefit from either. Just as a newly planted tree requires three years before its fruit can be deemed spiritually “safe” or “ripe” for use, so does a child undergo three formative years before being ready for formal Torah education and mitzvah-observance. During these first years, the divine sparks embedded in the fruit (a central concept in Lurianic Kabbalah) remain enclosed by layers of kelipah. The fruits and hair are considered orlah— “uncircumcised” —because their spiritual potential is not yet accessible or redeemable.
In Kabbalah (particularly following the system of Rabbi Isaac Luria, the Arizal), The number three often represents immature or preliminary states of spiritual development—sometimes identified with unrefined aspects of reality called the “three impure kelipot-husks.”[6] By waiting three full years, the husk of impurity dissipates enough that, starting in the fourth year (neta reva’i), the produce can be dedicated to holiness (by bringing it to Jerusalem in Temple times or redeeming it under certain conditions). The hair of a three-year-old boy is cut off in a celebratory ceremony, accompanied by acts of charity, blessings, songs, and words of Torah. Guests participate in cutting the boy’s hair, each snipping a small lock and giving the child a coin to be put in the pushka (charity box).
Mystically, the fourth year represents a shift from the lower, unrefined realms to a level of holiness that can be elevated. Once the initial orlah (“husk”) is removed by waiting, the fruit can serve as a vehicle to uplift the divine sparks within it. The produce moves from being spiritually “blocked” to being open for holy use—mirroring the journey of the human soul from a raw, potential state to active service of G‑d.
Chassidic texts compare this stage to a child reaching an age of active mitzvah education (ḥinuḥ). The parallel is that only when the proper time has arrived can something be productively channeled into the service of the Divine. Generally, partaking of unrefined energies too early, damages both the person and the object, while restraint until the “right time” ensures a proper spiritual elevation.
In the first three years of his life, a child perceives himself as the center of the universe, with his mother, father, and perhaps other siblings all seen as at his service. This is the state of pure ego. Although ego is the ultimate source of evil, in this case, this is a normal stage in the child’s psychological development. However, at this stage, the child is not receptive to the concept of divine service. Consequently, we must wait three years before introducing the child to Torah and mitzvot (divine commandments). Just as a newborn boy has his glans covered by the foreskin that must be circumcised, so too, the soul and the mentality of the child is concealed by the covering of his unadulterated ego. While the orlah of the foreskin is cut off (and the inner membrane is peeled back), the ego of the child must be gradually “peeled away” or refined. True spiritual growth involves patience; certain stages of development cannot be rushed. The orlah prohibition hints that we must allow time for proper spiritual ripening before something can be used for a higher purpose.[7]
Pe’ot—Sidelocks
Another very important aspect of the upsherenish ceremony is revealing the boy’s pe’ot (side curls).
The Torah states:
You shall not round off the corners of your heads” (Leviticus 19:27).
The temples are considered “corners” of the head, and the hair that grows on the temples may not be shaved off. Some Jews (Yemenite and many Ḥassidic Jews) grow long pe’ot, emphasizing the importance of this mitzvah (although this is not a Chabad custom, nor is it practiced today by most Sephardic and non-Ḥassidic Ashkenazi Jews[8]). Once a boy turns three, he is symbolically initiated into the observance of the mitzvah that forbids shaving the corners of the hair (the pe’ot). By cutting all his hair except the pe’ot, we visually affirm the entry of the mitzvah (divine precept) into the child’s life.
In Kabbalah, hair, in general, is seen as an external expression of spiritual energies from the head (the seat of the intellect and soul). Hair symbolically represents narrow channels that siphon off the spiritual energy of the mind and soul. In kabbalistic terminology, hair represents kelipah (“husk”). Therefore, it is a Jewish custom for a man not to wear long hair. However, the pe’ot (and the beard) are considered conduits or “pathways” to divine mercy. Specifically, pe’ot are associated with G‑d’s name, Tetragrammaton, repeated twice in the Thirteen Attributes of Mercy:[9]
G‑d, G-d, Lord, compassionate and gracious, slow to anger and abounding in kindness and truth, keeping kindness for thousands, forgiving iniquity, transgression, and sin, who cleanses… Exodus 34:6-7.[10]
The first two attributes expressed in English as “G-d” are the proper, ineffable name of G‑d, (Y-H-W-H), the Tetragrammaton, which may not be pronounced (except by the priests in the Holy Temple). The two pe’ot embody this holy name repeated twice.
One consciously “uncovers” and opens these spiritual conduits by leaving the pe’ot intact at the first haircut. The ceremony signals that the child is now ready and receptive to begin drawing holiness into his mind (intellect) and actions (behavior), marking a mystical step in personal growth.
In the Chabad community, the Frierdiker Rebbe (Rabbi Yosef Yitzchak, 1880–1950) wrote extensively about ḥinuḥ (education) and childhood rites. He underscores that the highlight of the Upsherenish is not just “cutting hair” but revealing and emphasizing the pe’ot—an outer manifestation of a new inner stage of holiness. The Frierdiker Rebbe also noted that from the day of the Upsherenish, the child consciously enters a realm where Torah commandments are kept on his level, and the pe’ot are a visible sign of that new status.
The Tzemach Tzedek (the third Chabad Rebbe) in Derech Mitzvotecha includes discussions on the mitzvah of pe’ot, tying them to the notion that what emanates from the head—both intellect and divine consciousness—must remain connected to the rest of the person in a refined way.
Chassidic masters emphasize that a key part of ḥinuḥ is not just knowledge but embodied practice. Leaving pe’ot is a tangible, daily reminder of the child’s commitment to a life guided by Torah and mitzvot. The boy carries an outward sign of Jewish identity on his body for the first time. This fosters self-awareness: “I am a Jewish boy, and these pe’ot represent who I am and how I connect with holiness.”
A Modern Perspective on Upsherenish
Michelangelo was once asked how he sculpted angels from mere slabs of marble. His famous reply— “I saw the angel in the marble, and I carved until I set him free”—aptly captures a crucial insight: creation often proceeds through removal.[11]
Creation as the Process of Removal
Rather than building up something new, Michelangelo visualized the final form within the marble and chiseled away the excess. This “negative creation” process parallels how many natural, intellectual, and spiritual processes operate: they define, clarify, and reveal by subtracting or screening rather than by constant addition.
Tzimtzum: A Cosmic “Removal”
This notion of creation as removal aligns with one of the most foundational concepts of Jewish mysticism: Tzimtzum. The mystical view of creation is not merely about building a universe from scratch. Instead, it describes how G‑d first “withdrew” or “concealed” His infinite light to make room for finite reality (Tzimtzum should not be understood literally; it is viewed as a metaphor, and “withdrawal” and “concealment” are viewed as allegories). Kabbalistic sources explain that the Creator’s boundless presence had to be screened and diminished (metaphorically speaking) for the world to emerge in a distinct, independent form.
As described in Etz Hayyim, G‑d’s infinite light was “withdrawn” to the periphery, leaving a “vacated space”[12] wherein finite creation could unfold. Into this emptiness, G‑d introduced a ray of divine light—a measured illumination that would allow the cosmos to take shape gradually. The unfolding chain of worlds (seder hishtalshelut) involved increasing levels of concealment, filtering, and partitioning, akin to Michelangelo’s chisel. Instead of building matter upon matter, G‑d was, in essence, “carving away” the layers of infinite light, revealing a finite, tangible realm beneath.
Mathematics: Creation Through Definition
In mathematics, we see a similar principle at work. As British mathematician G. Spencer Brown notes in his book The Laws of Form, “Mathematics is the science of what we know of what we have defined,” and “we cannot make an indication without drawing a distinction.”[13] However, a definition always involves a process of selective elimination—we narrow a broad set to a precise subset—or a process of distinction, where we draw a boundary that demarcates one region as distinct from another.
When you draw a single vertical line down a page, you instantaneously create two separate domains: right and left. Drawing that boundary is itself a creative act, defining two new “domains” where there had been only an undifferentiated plane before.
In a spiritual sense, the Ecclesiast (Kohelet) speaks of creation in terms of “this opposite that” (ze leumat ze), meaning G‑d drew an “invisible line” between holiness and evil, between the domain of purity and impurity. Here, again, we find that creation hinges on distinction—by slicing away or delimiting one realm from another.
Physics: Collapsing the Wave Function
In quantum physics, the concept of the wave function collapse also highlights creation through removal. A quantum system is described by a wave function that spans a multitude of possible states—an abstract, complex entity existing in a higher-dimensional Hilbert space. Once measured or observed, the wave function “collapses” to a single definite state. In effect, all other potential states are “carved away,” leaving one tangible outcome that can interact with classical reality. The wave function’s collapse is thus akin to Michelangelo’s chisel: the many superposed possibilities exist in potential, but the act of measurement (or interaction) removes the extra “marble,” unveiling a concrete result.[14]
Neuroscience: Pruning as a Path to Maturity
In neuroscience, especially in developmental biology, there is an equally profound illustration of creation through pruning. A newborn’s brain contains far more neurons than an adult’s. By the end of the first year, approximately 40% of these neurons are gone—a healthy process of synaptic pruning that eliminates weak or unnecessary neural connections and strengthens essential neuronal networks. Research shows that failing to prune (e.g., in certain disorders like autism) can hamper the brain’s ability to form clear, efficient pathways. Once again, maturity arises by selectively removing the superfluous—by “carving the marble.”
Upsherenish: Revealing the Pe’ot
All these examples—Michelangelo’s sculpting, Tzimtzum, mathematical definition, wave function collapse, and neuronal pruning—reflect a common pattern: to create, we often remove. This removal—creating the distinction between the essence and the extra—defines a new entity. Nowhere is this principle more tangible in Jewish life than at the Upsherenish ceremony.
At age three, a Jewish boy traditionally receives his first haircut. The “extra” hair is cut away, carving out the pe’ot (side curls). This reflects a deeply symbolic process. By shearing most of the hair, the pe’ot become defined and visibly distinct. The child officially enters the realm of mitzvah-observance.
Many Chassidic and Kabbalistic sources emphasize that the child’s Upsherenish is his first personal mitzvah—the moment he starts actively keeping Jewish law. Much like drawing a boundary line in mathematics, leaving the pe’ot uncut is an act of distinction that sets him on a new path of holiness.
The Upsherenish also defines a new phase in the father-son relationship. From that point on, the father is obligated to actively instruct his son in Torah, starting with alef-bet. This allows the father to fulfill the biblical commandment veshinantom levanecha:
You shall teach them [these words] diligently to your children (Deuteronomy 6:7).
This directive is understood by the Sages as the commandment obligating a father to teach his son the Torah. Later rabbinic discussion—particularly in the Talmud (Kiddushin 29a)—further clarifies that this verse places the responsibility for a child’s Torah education squarely on the father.
The ceremony of Upsherenish is a vivid embodiment of this principle within Jewish life. At age three, a boy experiences a defining moment when his long, unshorn hair is cut away, revealing and carving out only the sidelocks, the pe’ot—paraphrasing Michelangelo, setting pe’ot free. This simple act of shearing distinguishes him as a child ready to begin participating in a life of Torah and mitzvot, leaving only the corners of his hair. The visible transformation of removing the excess while retaining the holy “corners” mirrors the broader cosmic notion that new realities emerge when the right boundaries are drawn, and the nonessential is discarded.
The Upsherenish ceremony brings this universal principle into the realm of childhood initiation. By removing the bulk of the hair, we uncover the pe’ot—publicly affirming the child’s entrance into a life structured by Torah and mitzvot. In that single moment, the intangible process of spiritual definition becomes tangibly visible on the child’s head. The new reality— “I am a Jewish boy, and these are my mitzvot” —emerges precisely through the negative—yet creatively liberating—act of cutting away.
On the day of the Upsherenish, when the child sees himself for the first time with pe’ot, wearing a kippah and tallit katan, he recognizes his place within a tradition that values the sanctity of distinctions. Just as the sculptor finds the angel hidden within the marble, and as the Creator withdraws infinite light to form a finite world, cutting unnecessary hair reveals a new identity. It is a defining moment for both the boy and his father. But first and foremost, this moment signifies the child’s transition to an active participant in the covenant, a small yet critical example of how creative revelation can be carved out of chaos.
***
On a personal note, my wife and I grew up in an assimilated environment in the former Soviet Union, where we were indoctrinated into militant atheism. We both became religious after we met, but none of us knew exactly what to do, and there was nobody to ask. When our first child was born—and it was a boy—we knew we had to circumcise him, but there was nobody to do it. We had to travel to another republic (now the country of Georgia) to find a mohel to perform Brit Mila on our son. Needless to say, we never heard about Upsherenish. I have no explanation for why we never cut our boy’s hair. Somehow, by divine providence, the first haircut we gave this boy was on Lag BaOmer, shortly after his third birthday. Unbeknownst to us, when a boy’s birthday falls on sefirat ha-omer,[15] when we refrain from getting a haircut, the custom is to give the boy his first haircut on Lag BaOmer. It was as if the Almighty was holding us by the hand and walking us on our way. He made sure that we did the right thing even when we did not know what was the right thing to do. Only later, when we did the Upsherenish to our second son, we looked at each other in amazement, first realizing that the first boy also got his Upsherenish at precisely the right time, orchestrated not by me—his father—but by our Father in Heaven.
Endnotes:
[1] The noun “upsherenish” (אַפּשערעניש), meaning “haircut” comes from the verb “upsheren” (אַפּשערן) to cut off. Sephardic communities often refer to a boy’s first haircut ceremony as ḥalaka (חלאקה). This term is generally understood to derive from the Arabic root ḥ-l-q, which means “to shave” or “to cut hair.” In Arabic, ḥilāqah and related forms connote shaving or haircutting; so ḥalaka is a borrowed Arabic term that Jews from Arabic-speaking lands incorporated into their own tradition and vocabulary.
[2] During the first three years, not only is it forbidden to eat the fruit, but one may not derive any benefit (e.g., selling or using it medicinally). In the fourth year, the fruit is considered neta reva’i—holy and must be brought up to Jerusalem to be eaten in a state of ritual purity (or redeemed with money in the Diaspora). In the fifth year and onward, it is treated as ordinary produce.
[3] See Mishnah Orlah (chapters 1–3; Babylonian Talmud, Tractates Kiddushin 39a, Pesaḥim 22b; Jerusalem Talmud, Tractate Orlah; Maimonides, Mishneh Torah, Hilḥot Ma’aḥalot Assurot, Chapters 10–11, Shulchan Aruḥ, Yoreh De’ah 294 (Hilḥot Orlah).
[4] See, for example, Bnei Yissaschar, Ma’amarei Chodesh Shevat, Ma’amar 2, by Rabbi Tzvi Elimelech of Dinov, commenting on the verse “For man is like the tree of the field,” where he draws the parallel between human potential and agricultural growth. The orlah period is likened to unrefined traits that must remain untouched until they are ready to be elevated.
[5] In Derekh Mitzvotekha, the Tzemach Tzedek (the third Lubavitcher Rebbe), touches on the theme of orlah as a representation of the “foreskin” that conceals divine light within the fruit. This “closed-off” state needs time before it can be opened to holiness.
[6] The number three is seen as a manifestation of immature mentality because, in the initial stages of development of the partzuf Z’eir Anpin (Z”A), it is deemed to be in fetal position in the womb of the partzuf Ima (“Supernal Mother”), where only the first three sefirot— Ḥesed, Gevurah, and Tiferet—are revealed, while the other three sefirot—Netzaḥ, Hod, and Yesod—remain compactified (folded and hidden within the first three). This is the immature state of the Z”A that, perhaps, could be seen to parallel the first three years of boy’s development.
[7] See, for example, Sfas Emes, Shem MiShmuel, and Nesivos Shalom discussing this concept.
[8] Wearing pe’ot was almost universal custom among Eastern Ashkenazim before Czar Nikolai prohibited it.
[9] See Ari (Rabbi Isaac Luria) Sha’ar HaKavanot and Pri Etz Chaim.
[10] 1. ה׳ (Hashem) – The Divine Name signifying G-d’s compassion before a person sins.
2. ה׳ (Hashem) – The Divine Name signifying G-d’s compassion even after a person sins and repents.
3. אֵל (Kel) – G-d’s might, emphasizing benevolence and power to bestow goodness.
4. רַחוּם (Raḥum) – Merciful, showing empathy for all creatures.
5. וְחַנּוּן (Ve’Chanun) – Gracious, granting unearned favor and kindness.
6. אֶרֶךְ אַפַּיִם (Ereḥ Apayim) – Slow to anger, patiently giving the sinner time to repent.
7. וְרַב־חֶסֶד (Ve’Rav Ḥesed) – Abundant in loving-kindness, bestowing kindness beyond what is expected.
8. וֶאֱמֶת (Ve’Emet) – Truth, remaining consistent and faithful to promises.
9. נֹצֵר חֶסֶד לָאֲלָפִים (Notzer Ḥesed La’alafim) – Preserver of kindness for thousands of generations.
10. נֹשֵׂא עָוֹן (Nosei Avon) – Forgiver of iniquity (willful wrongdoing).
11. וָפֶשַׁע (Va’Fesha) – Forgiver of transgression (rebellious sin).
12. וְחַטָּאָה (Ve’Chata’ah) – Forgiver of sin (errors or mistakes).
13. וְנַקֵּה (Ve’Nakeh) – And Who cleanses, wiping away guilt and granting atonement to those who repent.
[11] There is no historical source for attributing these words to Michelangelo. Instead, it appears to be a much later, apocryphal paraphrase of Michelangelo’s approach to sculpture, possibly invented in the 19th or early 20th century.
[12] This vacant space (chalal) is not meant in a literal sense. The vacant space is not a physical space (which hadn’t been created yet) but an abstract conceptual space.
[13] G. Spencer Brown, The Laws of Form, Allen & Unwin, 1969.
[14] The metaphysics of Aquinas maps the distinction between essence and existence onto the Aristotelian distinction between actuality and potentiality, so that the essence of an entity is in potentiality to the existence of a thing, which is the actuality of that entity. From this point of view, the wave function in the state of superposition is the essence of the quantum system, whereas the wave function in its collapsed state is the existence of the system.
[15] The forty-nine days between the Passover and Shavuot, when we count sefirah, are considered the time of strict judgment, marked by the observance of such mourning customs as abstaining from weddings, haircuts, and listening to live music, mourning the death of twenty-four thousand students of Rabbi Akiva.
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